I want to stop.
I am sick of fighting.
tired of clawing for every centimeter of space in my own mind
a mind that belongs more to the darkness than to me.
I stopped trying to push it out a long time ago,
darkness became a creepy roommate you tolerate.
we wrestle each other all the time
although not as frequently and fiercely as we used to
but sometimes its almost enough to make me loose my sanity.
Trying to remember a time when my mind was just mine,
is like trying to remember my first breath in this world.
This is an everyday battle,
there are no off days.
This is what a person with mental illness feels like every single day.
It is what I feel everyday.
Imagine trying to tame a dragon living in your head that was never invited.